I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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