Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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