just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize