Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
