It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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