All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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