Do vagina's smell?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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