I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
