all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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