I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
