i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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