weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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