meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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