legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
