He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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