i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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