so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
