I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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