It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
