I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
