i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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