Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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