Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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