We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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