he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
