There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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