How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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