What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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