I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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