Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize