she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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