I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
