She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
