he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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