i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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