there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize