i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
