I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
