you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize