Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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