so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
