It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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