Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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