Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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