Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize