So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
