Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just gift wrapped bread.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
