FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
