Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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