does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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