I wish I could punch you in the face.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
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