Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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