it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Welp...herpes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
