I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
