Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
