Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
