I'm drive I can fine osifer
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
