Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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