Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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