Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize