And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
