Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
