real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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