No awkward lesbian experiences without me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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