the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
