talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Actions speak louder than pants.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
