do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Come on in and take your pants off
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
