I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
