you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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