Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize
