Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
