I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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