I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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