Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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