wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
